pathetic vent

It really stinks when you put everything aside to work on something. And you work insanely hard to do it WELL. And then it turns out terribly.

I am so sick of these floors. And I am so tired of them looking beautiful until I put polyurethane on them and then they look dirty. I would not care if they just weren't pretty...but dirty??? Almost every home we've lived in has looked dirty.....in such a way that I cannot make it look clean. And I know it's not important. I know none of us or sick or anything, but I have always wanted to live in a CLEAN PLACE. Somewhere that looks fresh and clean. I don't know why I'm obsessed with this, since I'm such a slob, but it has always upset me.

And we have put all of our resources...time, strength, money into doing these stupid floors and they all look horrid. I cannot even imagine how terrible Lucy's and Iris' will look when we get done since we bought such light pink paint for theirs. My head hurts thinking of how much we've done to try to make this look nice and how awful it has ended up looking. And we have neither the time nor money nor anymore desire to do anything else to them. We're simply going to have dirty looking floors.

Yes, I do realize how petty I'm being. I do realize they're just floors.

The end.